“To know yourself, you must sacrifice the illusion that you already do.” – Vironika Tugaleva
What is “Leadership Mother Tongue” LMT?
Having navigated the corporate world for over three decades, spanning ten-plus countries and living in three of them, I’ve observed and learnt a universal truth: the ability to connect and align with executives and senior leaders comes down to one simple yet powerful practice—understanding and speaking their language – both literally and figuratively. Initially, I assumed this phenomenon was unique to the IT industry, but my interactions with leaders across diverse sectors revealed that it transcends industries.
Reflecting on my personal experiences living abroad, I noticed a parallel. This insight resonated with a personal experience I often encountered while living outside of India. At large conferences or meetings, despite being engaged with locals, I naturally gravitated towards individuals from my country. It wasn’t about excluding others, but due to the subconscious comfort of shared roots. Conversations often began with discussions about our hometown and narrowed further to our shared dialect or mother tongue. Speaking in my native language with someone—even a stranger—instantly created a deep connection and a sense of familiarity. Similarly, in professional settings, we feel drawn to colleagues who mirror our tendencies, such as being structured, punctual, or empathetic. These patterns highlight that communication—both verbal and behavioural—goes far beyond words. It’s about alignment, familiarity, and mutual understanding.
This natural gravitation toward alignment isn’t just about communication—it’s about understanding at a deeper level. This realization inspired me to coin the term Leadership Mother Tongue (LMT) to describe this phenomenon in leadership, which serves as a metaphor for understanding a leader’s default style—one that reflects their instinctive way of communicating, making decisions, behaving, and influencing others. It is their natural leadership language, shaped by upbringing, culture, experiences, and personality.
Leadership Mother Tongue: Defined
Much like a native language defines how we think, express, and connect, Leadership Mother Tongue represents a leader’s intrinsic style—the way they naturally lead, interact, and influence. It’s their authentic “leadership language,” shaped by their upbringing, culture, values, and personality.
This leadership language is reflected in a leader’s:
1. Communication Style – Do they thrive on storytelling or data-driven dialogue?
2. Decision-Making – Are they instinctively collaborative or assertively autonomous?
3. Core Values – Is empathy, innovation, or strategy their default mode of leadership?
For example, a leader’s LMT might be collaboration, thriving in environments that demand teamwork and co-creation. For others, it might be strategic thinking, excelling in crafting visionary goals. LMT goes beyond surface-level communication—it defines how a leader shapes relationships, communicates priorities, and inspires action.
The Power of LMT in Connecting with Executives
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” – Stephen R. Covey
When engaging executives, adopting their LMT fosters alignment, mutual respect, and impact. Executives resonate with language and priorities that reflect their worldview. For example, if you’re presenting to a VP of Operations with a focus on cost optimization through OPEX alignment, presenting actionable insights that address cost-cutting will immediately resonate. Conversely, failing to align your communication to their priorities risks disconnection or risk of being overlooked.
To connect effectively, ask yourself these critical questions before engaging Executives:
- What matters most to this executive?
- Why should this executive listen to me?
- How does my message solve their problems or meet their goals?
- What value am I bringing to the table?
Aligning with an executive’s LMT doesn’t mean mimicking their style—it means bridging the gap between your natural leadership language and theirs. However, this alignment doesn’t mean or need abandoning your own leadership instincts. The key is balancing your natural LMT with adapted behaviour to suit the context. By doing so, you create space for authentic, meaningful communication.
Stay tuned for Part-2 of the Article to understand the components and implement the same in your style to adapt to your eco-system of stakeholders.